I would have to say that my central story, especially considering my posts this month, is attempting to improve my life and the lives of the people around me. Its something that I've always wanted to do, but this year I feel like I'm actually making headway where becoming a better person is involved.
*mostly unrelated*
One of the things that got me through the toughest parts of the last year was meditation and positive thinking. I use meditation as an "on the spot" tool to help me work through whatever silly things are stressing me out, and after I have them sorted in my mind I can use that power to look at the situation with less negativity. I've gotten out of this habit since moving to a less [constantly] stressful workplace, and have noticed the difference. I'm more stressed on a regular basis. I have a harder time dealing with problems logically. Being positive about things is more difficult. I made a promise to myself this week to step it up and start meditating when I can feel the stress taking over...
I was pretty concerned about working tonight. Working in a retail setting on the Friday night before Christmas can be hell. I came from a store where a night like tonight would have at least 5 people working together and am now at a store that had 3 people on the schedule for tonight. I had no idea how things would play out and was mentally prepared to be at work an hour late. When I walked in I could feel the stress consuming my brain and I started to meditate. My nerves settled and I knew that I could handle whatever was coming my way. And then I saw the face of my co-worker whose mother is battling cancer and has been on a steady decline for more than a few weeks now. His face made me feel so incredibly guilty for worrying about my silly problems, and it also made me realized that my positive energy was needed for reasons other than just keeping things under control at work.
We get so wrapped up [no pun intended] in the holiday season and we stress about so many silly things: what gift to buy, who to send cards to, visiting that family member that you drives you crazy, cooking too much food for too many people and hoping it all comes out edible, balancing a teetering checkbook... and then you realize that there are people who can't even pretend to care about those things because they're fighting just to keep breathing. And there are people who are losing their mothers. It really makes all those other things seem pretty trivial. It makes you appreciate every person in your life. And it makes ME send love and positivity and healing white light to everyone I know who needs a Christmas Miracle.
I guess I needed to get that out.
<3 pennilane
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